I am Terribly Sorry

Hey, everyone. I'm sorry. I've been unable to bring myself to write anything quality about anything happening currently, because of how unbelievably stupid this all is.

I really wanted to write an article - or a rant, I suppose, but in England it's the same thing - about the blatant, obvious, criminal voter fraud committed against Bernie Sanders and his supporters in the recent New York Democratic Primary.

I mean, 3.4 Million people essentially had their voting rights revoked by the DNC, as their registration was suspiciously found to be 'independent' rather than 'democrat' on the day of the primary. There were also twitter accounts telling everyone to go and vote wearing their official Bernie supporters' regalia and buttons and stuff, which, believe it or not, is actually illegal in America. Rarely enforced, but you can bet it was on the day.

And you know what? It sucks that I failed to write about it, because it would have made for a nice, long, entertaining article, full of my swearing and anger, and those of you who are politically minded would have found it very inflaming indeed - which is the idea - and those of you who aren't would at least have found my language entertaining.

After all, who else refers to Bill Clinton as a 'petulant, immature little goosetwat' in casual conversation?

Actually, if you know anyone who does, put me in touch with them. I'd love to buy them a drink.

And you know what else I want to post about? Bill Clinton putting his foot in his mouth again, and telling millennials they're all fucking idiots - thanks, you rapist fuck faced large chinned bastard.

I also wanna post about Chelsea Clinton, their daughter - and if she hadn't literally come out of Hillary I'd ask for a DNA test to check who the mother is, knowing that fuckass Bill and his 'tendencies' - accidentally addressing Bernie Sanders as 'President Sanders' in an interview with the press!

HOLY SHIT DO I WANT TO POST ABOUT THAT.

I can't believe she let that happen. See? It's on their minds too. They know this shit is the way to go. Only greed is stopping them from throwing down their arms, surrendering their forces, and joining us in the good fight- the GREAT fight.

Oh, by the way, they tried to bully Sanders about his position on healthcare of all things.

There's that video for you.

Now that's a man I'd take up a weapon for, if it came down to it.

Fortunately, that is unlikely. I doubt I'd last long against those trigger happy Republican wankers anyway, with their absurdly large firearms.

I'm actually kind of worried that this gun was ever allowed to exist. No joke.

Uh, let's see here, what else did I wanna post about?

I WANTED TO POST ABOUT TRUMP.

Trump recently - or now, not so recently - made a statement about abortion that should leave you literally throwing up your intestines, because it's just so...

So fascist.

I know we like to call him a fascist, and I know it's pretty accurate, but at this point, it should really be at it's scariest for us all.

I'll show you. Though, serious warning here, I know this is a sensitive subject, don't feel pressured to look. I honestly feel bad about putting this badly coloured in far right joke on this blog anyway.

He thinks women should be punished, but that the man responsible for the pregnancy should suffer nothing.

Which is odd, because men are generally involved in some way.

And what else did I want to post about?

Everything. Guys, I want to post about everything. It's not fair to say that this blog is 'exploding' or 'blowing up' but it is a lot more popular already than I ever thought it would be, and I don't think it's showing any reasonable signs of stopping soon, if you guys keep telling your political friends you find me funny.

So please do.

And I'm sorry about my inability to post about everything I want to. Truth is, I'm a pretty run-down guy, without nearly as much time on his hands as he'd like, and this is very much a spare time thing. I'll try to get it down, but I've also gotta say that how often I write is also pretty dependent on my ability to work myself up into a rage about it, enough to swear copiously and vow vengeance against people I don't know, understand, or really bear all that much personal ill will towards.

Except Trump.

And the Clintons - although Chelsea might not be a monster yet.

And-

Actually no there are plenty of people I have genuine ill will against, but not like murder. More like, I hope they drop a kitchen knife on their big toe.

And this whole 'working myself up' thing is actually pretty unhealthy anyway. I need to see if I can do this without anger.

Thank you, though. Please, please tell your friends. It lights up my day to know people read the shit I write.

Thank you, so very much.

~ Baxster Brand

Bernie Sanders just did something amazing

He's proposed that the American Constitution be amended.

Which is a big thing to say. Seriously. A massive, massive things, and of course he's doing it for the right reasons as always, but wow.

I'm surprised.

For anyone here not familiar with how serious the Americans tend to take their constitution, just imagine the reactions you get every time you suggest, even politely - which I'll admit I sometimes have trouble doing - that the Queen might be a poor expenditure of valuable resources.

Or, you know, that she's more of a scrounger that the rest of us combined.

Or actually, just imagine the row you'd get from publicly screaming at the Queen. Suggesting that she's an idiot. Suggesting that she needs to not be phased out as a British Republican would advise, but... just changed.

Actually that might have been a bad example.

Imagine instead the feeling you get when somebody suggests that the core tenets of your personal political beliefs are utter bullshite.

This is how some people will feel. Inevitably. Because to them, the American Constitution are that which their country was built on, and shall survive on - and they're largely not wrong, I must say. But Mr. Sanders does raise a good point when he informs us that...

"... Amazingly enough we do not have in our constitution the right to vote as a constitutional right, we leave it up to the states. That's where I get passionately upset."

And rightly so.

What does he propose?

A constitutional amendment rendering all those above the age of 18 eligible to vote, I quote "... end of discussion..."

I fucking love this guy.

He goes on to say that what the Republicans are doing in trying to make it harder for people to vote is, get this, not criminal, not simply a dick move, but UnAmerican.

And I agree.

For all the past spite and anger between our two nations of people, we have one thing in common and that is the mutual desire for freedom. Freedom from oppression, from pain, from poverty. And actually, I must say that this is not simply a common ground between America and the UK, it is a common ground with the entirety of our race.

You and me, and all of them.

We want to be free.

To be free, we must be free first to influence the world around us, and Bernie Sanders would give everyone  that right.

I can only say, as I have said before, and will forever repeat, that I put my faith in Bernie Sanders just as much as I do in Jeremy Corbyn, just as much as I do in the new Canadian Government, just as much as I do in you.

Yeah. You.

Because I've already said it, but you and I are the same.

We both just wanna be free. There's nothing wrong with that. It's natural, and good.

And I reckon, whoever you vote for, you'll end up contributing to the advancement of the human race, one way or another. Just like me, I hope.

Man, these always end up being more emotional than I intend.


Have a lovely evening, and be safe.

~ Baxster Brand

BERNIE 'BIRDIE' SANDERS, EVERYONE

Bernie Sanders, the main brain, Bernie Sanders, my best guy, Bernie Sanders, just won his 7th Victory in a ROW in America. Not only that but it was in Wyoming!

For reference, Wyoming is referred to by The Guardian as 'cowboy land' so yeah, this is impressive.

Speaking of the Guardian, here's their article on it.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/apr/09/bernie-sanders-wins-wyoming-seventh-state-unstoppable-new-york-primary-next

Now let's just dissect it.

They suggest that to many, Bernie Sanders, who - much like our Labour Leader, Jeremy Corbyn - started out as a very minor individual in the democratic race, whom few took seriously and fewer enjoyed the company of, but - again, just like our leader, J.C. - became a momentous and historically significant force for good, and a true sign of the rise of the left, may now look unstoppable to most.

They're right. He looks unstoppable to me. And I don't want him stopped, nor should you. He's not only a good man, he's a good politician. He's more experienced than Clinton, he's more intelligent than Clinton, and by jove, he's certainly more popular than Clinton right now - unless we're counting bankers.

Which we're not.

And probably never will.

The Guardian does, however, make mention of the fact that while he is very much on the rise - and Clinton does appear to be on something of a downwards trajectory - Hillary Clinton is still the democratic frontrunner at this point. It's not so clear cut as the republican one at this point, which seriously worries me, but there is still a rather major difference. Bernie is going to need to win pretty much all the seats from here to the end of the primaries and caucuses rather decisively. If he doesn't come out on top then, at least he can start to make a case for Clinton's 400 or so 'special delegates' whatever the shit that means, to join him instead.

Which I believe he would do quite well, actually.

I mean, his sensational performance aside, and the clear omens of nature - by which I mean Birdie Sanders, and I do dearly hope he gets a pet canary or something after this to commemorate that bird - we only have to look at history itself to understand just why he's such a good candidate.

The reason is Revolution.

Now, I understand that so much of the young, radical left use that term - and indeed overuse it - like it's a smartphone, but please understand that I mean the attitudes of revolution, and the incredibly fast paced change it brings, not so much the fires and the executions.

Although I wouldn't mind seeing Donald Trump investigated a little.

But seriously. I believe in Bernie Sanders not because he's the most economically viable candidate, not because he's the most cunning bastard on the block, not because he's got the best military record, but because he's the best son of a bitch to bring about change, and that's exactly what America needs. Hell, it's what Britain needs, and sorely too.

I'd even go as far as to say that it's what the whole damn world needs.

For the record, I'm in no way admitting that Mr. Sanders is economically incompetent, unintelligent, or a coward. In fact he's consistently proven himself to be the exact opposite of all of these things.

I'm just saying... guys, we need change. We need to change.

I was once told, and I'm not sure who by, that whenever we find ourselves on the side of the majority, we must pause and take a good long look at ourselves, that we might be sure we have not, in our passion to do good, begun doing the work of evil.

Ah. Just googled it.

It was Mark Twain.

Another of his good quotes was "... Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can see."

That's actually one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. I had to pause for a moment.

And that's exactly why I like Bernie Sanders. Same reason I like Jeremy Corbyn. Same reason I'll be a socialist from this waking moment 'til the second I die, and every eternity thereafter. Same reason I hope only to live and die having done right by the People, and not just the people of England, or Britain, or Europe, but the whole bloody world.

Same reason I hope for this revolution.

Because the world does not have to be cruel, and we do not have to be cruel people. We can be kind and loving, and the world can be beautiful.

We must simply stand together. For this strange and complex race of individuals is like an ocean.


And nothing can hold back the tide forever.




Thanks for having a read. Have a good night, everyone.

And be safe.

~ Baxster Brand

The Panama Papers

Well, this is a right fine mess, isn't it, ladies and gentlemen? I mean, we all knew our wondrous leaders and good friends in government were greedy bastards, with their thumbs up their bums and their fingers in each other's pies, but now we have it in writing.

Ha.

Ha, ha, fuckity ha.

Let's just run through what these Papers really are, shall we?

"The Panama Papers are an unprecedented leak of 11.5m files from the database of the world’s fourth biggest offshore law firm, Mossack Fonseca."

 - The Guardian, 3rd of April, 2016. Arguably one of Britain's most reliable news sources, as well. I believe they've only been biased once or twice in all of history - and even then, it was for causes that honestly deserved it.

I do like the Guardian, I must admit.

But... what are these papers about?

"The documents show the myriad ways in which the rich can exploit secretive offshore tax regimes. Twelve national leaders are among 143 politicians, their families and close associates from around the world known to have been using offshore tax havens."

- ... also The Guardian, on the 3rd of April, 2016. Same article, in fact. But they're really saying what we already know. Do we get any specifics out of this brilliant British bastion of journalism?

Fuck yes we do.

"A $2bn trail leads all the way to Vladimir Putin.The Russian president’s best friend – a cellist called Sergei Roldugin – is at the centre of a scheme in which money from Russian state banks is hidden offshore. Some of it ends up in a ski resort where in 2013 Putin’s daughter Katerina got married."

I have only occasionally seen Putin in an even remotely favourable light. This man is a dictator in all but 'official' classification, and I wouldn't mind seeing him imprisoned for his crimes. Nor would you, I'd hazard a guess.

But who else?

"Among national leaders with offshore wealth are Nawaz Sharif, Pakistan’s prime minister; Ayad Allawi, ex-interim prime minister and former vice-president of Iraq; Petro Poroshenko, president of Ukraine; Alaa Mubarak, son of Egypt’s former president; and the prime minister of Iceland, Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson."

Wait, Iceland?

I... I'm really shocked. I really am, guys. I know Iceland aren't exactly socialists as we perceive them, and I know that they thrive at least partially through... well, almost indie isolationism, being the only ones who imprisoned the bankers and bailed the people out instead of the other way around, but...

I thought better of their leadership than this. A tiny part of my faith in the world just got broken, just a little bit. A hairline fracture in my belief in the integrity of our global people. Small, but there, and hard to heal.

Ok.

Next please.

"An offshore investment fund run by the father of British prime minister David Cameron avoided ever having to pay tax in Britain by hiring a small army of Bahamas residents to sign its paperwork. The fund has been registered with HM Revenue and Customs since its inception and has filed detailed tax returns every year."

This surprised me. This really did. A British newspaper, even starting to look like it's calling out the PM? I've only really seen The Independent - and I suppose The Morning Star, although we all expect them to do it - do this regularly. The Guardian does it sparingly, but by God they know when to.

The Guardian's article on this goes on to say that not all people who use offshore banking and/or storage are crooks.

And they're right.

There are legitimate reasons to do this. In some countries, it may well be unsafe to put everything in the locale, where it could get stolen, or where security measures are less adequate. I've been told that many companies in Russia do this, for example, and I can understand why. In fact, good on them. That's a logical step in the protection of their funds, and as long as they still pay taxes like a good bunch of lads, then I have no problem with it.

The Guardian also informs us, politely as always, the a good number of the people who do this are crooks. They used words like 'money laundering' and 'criminal' too. I'm so proud of them.

But then, and you won't (totally will) believe this...

A senior Tory MP claimed that it was wrong to look into this. Not because of privacy, but because it would damage the livelihoods of the tax avoiders themselves. He said that overseas services were 'entitled' to exploit us like this.

Entitled.

What the fuck, sir? 

Sir, what the fuck?

I should mention that this is the same Tory who was against child abuse inquiries by the police.

Methinks there should be some inquiries into him. His name is Dominic Grieve, and I'd sure as hell like to give him some grief.

The Prime Minister couldn't keep his official trap shut either. When he was asked about all this, he had his spokesman say - because he couldn't look us in the eyes himself - that it was, I quote, '... a private matter.'

No. No it isn't. That's not how government works, that's not how taxes work. As the leader of the current ruling party, and therefore the leader of the British People's Government, you are accountable to the people you seem to consider yourself superior to, and this kind of behaviour is pissing everyone off, you pigfucking trotterlicker! Ooh, he makes my blood fucking boil!

But.

Something good has come of this.

Because people are finally starting to really wake up.

Icelandic government offices have been egged by protestors, in a passionate display of political, humanist, and populist fervour.

Bernie Sanders' support has been, is now, and is about to skyrocket.

The Left is back, baby. And stronger than ever.

Clements Attlee, Nye Bevan, and all the great heroes of our past?

I think they might even be proud of us.



Thanks for having a read, everyone. There ought to be another one later, about the lady being punished for abortion in Northern Ireland, and my disgust at the situation.

~ Baxster Brand

- PS: Here are the links to the newsposts.

http://www.theguardian.com/news/2016/apr/03/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-panama-papers

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/britain-should-not-crack-down-on-tax-havens-as-it-would-destroy-their-livelihoods-senior-tory-mp-a6969121.html

Ban David Cameron from entry to the UK

There's a fucking petition.

All I can say is; pahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahah.

Yes I fucking signed it.

~ Baxster Brand

Voting Fraud

Alright.

So in the most recent polls in Arizona, there's been a few allegations of Voter Fraud, and Voter Suppression.

Do I think these claims are well founded?

Short Answer: Yes, I bloody well do.


Longer Answer: Yes, I bloody well do. Why? Well, let's look at the facts, shall we?

1. Despite the fact that there was both an expected and actual voter turnout higher than almost any year before this one, there were vastly fewer polling stations set up - particularly in the liberal, further left wing areas of the state of Arizona, you'll also find. This means that there are more people in fewer stations, and as a result, the lines are longer.

No really.

They're fucking long.

I have heard of people waiting four hours to vote. Four hours. Which means that anyone arriving later in the day simply won't get to vote before the polls close.

2. Despite the fact that there was both an expected and actual voter turnout higher than almost any year before this one, they didn't have enough fucking ballots. They had to start handing out provisional ones, which aren't always counted, meaning that the elections become more prone to being fiddled by the Right Fuckers. I shouldn't even need to explain why this is a problem - and yes, you're more than likely to find that the Democratic Party has this problem more frequently the more liberal and left wing an area is.

3. The - I quote now - "Massive, MASSIVE voter registration problems." We have had lifelong Democratic voters being registered incorrectly as independents, and liberalists. Now, I must admit, this appears as though it could just as easily be the result of (staggering, blinding, depressing) incompetence, and I suppose it could be. I can't say accurately whether or not this is occurring more with the leftist areas of Arizona or not. This means I wouldn't have made comment if this was the only problem.

But as you can see, it isn't.

Now, there are actually a lot more things wrong about this little election they're holding, but I won't go through the process of outlining them all - after all, I'm sure you can all use google.

The only really good thing about all this is how it's prompted the Sanders campaign to take action.

See, the DNC has actively prohibited him from accessing data regarding the turnouts for this election - something that has not been done to other candidates - and Bernie Sanders and his supporters have decided to sue them.

I'm tired. I'm feeling a little down about the state we're leaving this world in for our kids.

But that makes me smile.

It's good to see someone doing something funny to those in power.

~ Baxster Brand

"Boys are Stronger than Girls"

 - Some Ignorant Grandmother I overheard last Sunday when I went swimming.


I... what? What the hell? Ok, firstly, that is sexist. If you're in dispute over this, let me list the other things she said.

"Because you're so much stronger than her."

"That's why boys should never hit girls."

"Because boys are always stronger."

I actually couldn't contain myself, at the time, I kept on murmuring "But that's not true." and "Sorry, but you're wrong." under my breath.

Firstly, that is sexist. It promotes a culture of men being more powerful than women, and women being subordinate as a result, because we do still equate physical strength to power on some level, and the damage this can do - especially as the children she was talking to were still at a formative age - is simply not worth the boorishness. Besides, I know plenty of women who could kick my ass, strength or no strength - and yes, some of them could do it because they're stronger than me, it's not just a technique thing (though for the record, I do know kung fu).

Secondly - and this is arguably the most objectively 'what the fuck, dude' statement she made - 'that's why boys should never hit girls'? Wait, so it's ok for a girl to hit a boy, but the boy can't hit back? No! Fuck that shit! If you're being attacked, you have the right to self defense! If somebody hits you, and looks like they're gonna keep doing so, you've got all the right in the world to use reasonable force in defense of your self, male or female. I mean, for God's sake, we already tell girls that if a boy is being mean to them, its because he likes them, can we not add this to the slush pile of screwed up gender shit, please? And on the topic of boys hitting girls because they like them - no. Just fucking no.

How dare you? How fucking dare you assume that any kind of abuse is indicative of affection? This is a large part of the reason that victims of abuse rarely speak out - they literally do not understand that they are in abusive relationships, because of shit like this! Even if he is hitting her because he likes her, that's not ok! That's not ok at all! Never, never tell your daughter - or your son - that they should put up with abuse, because that's not what they should be doing at all. And besides, I thought we operated on an 'assault is illegal' basis, here? Boys shouldn't hit girls, no. Of course not. But neither should girls hit boys. Ever. Nobody should be hitting anybody. Ok? Ok.

Now.

Let's get to the original point of this post, which may or not be clear by now after that catastrophic derailment of my initial argument.

What was it?

Oh yes.

Boys aren't stronger than girls.

Allow me to explain.

The male sex is more predisposed to muscle growth, yes. This is because of the increased presence of testosterone - almost literally a form of anabolic steroid - during puberty. This does mean, I'm afraid, that men tend towards higher amounts of muscle mass, and indeed they'll always tend towards higher muscle/fat mass ratios, because of their increased testosterone, and because women have - y'know - breasts.

However, we're talking about a young boy and a young girl here, right? Right.

Young boys will have no more - or perhaps, if approaching puberty, marginally more - testosterone than a girl the same age. As a result, it is unreasonable to expect the boy to have any significant amount more muscle than the girl. Indeed, their muscle/fat ratios will be similar too, as neither of them have begun puberty yet, and as a result, apart from their genitalia and reproductive tracts, which are functionally useless at this age anyway, their bodies really aren't that different at all.

And besides, there's actually nothing stopping a woman, even after puberty, from maintaining the same sorts of volumes of muscle mass - and hence strength - as a man. It would be somewhat more difficult, yes, as they are without the advantage of testosterone, but that is something of an impairment, and not at all a preventative.

For example; Samantha Wright.

This woman - although I'll admit I'm more inclined to call her a girl, or lady, because in all seriousness, without trying to detract from her badassitude at all, she's fucking adorable - could literally crush your skull between her thighs, and almost effortlessly break your arms just by grabbing them a little too quick in a fight.

You don't know this about me, but I wasn't joking about Kung Fu. I am trained in a martial art that has been, and is, more than capable of killing people very, very quickly.

And there's no way in hell that I would fight this woman. She's stronger than me, almost certainly faster than me, and probably heavier than me too. And apart from the almost 100% certainty that I'd be dead in a matter of seconds, she's cute too. Why would I ever want to fight her?

See? Fucking cute as hell.

Ok, so we have physical strength out of the way, but what about everything else?

Well, believe it or not, lads, men are actually at a legitimate disadvantage in most other areas - many of which would come into a straight fight.

For example, our hips are narrower - we aren't designed to give birth, after all. But this makes our centre of gravity much higher than a woman's, on average, which means we're genuinely all the easier to push over.

On top of that, our only potential edge, testosterone, is actually part of the reason we won't live as long. Oh yeah, you heard me right, lads, our bodies, as a result of being male, are in fact much more fragile. Evidence to support this?

Premature babies.

Seriously now, male premature babies have significantly worse statistics for survival than the female ones. I'm not joking. It's a serious issue, and, as far as I know, is actually inherent with the male sex, sadly. I know people who have had dangerously premature births in the family, and the doctors would frequently say, when it was female, 'you're lucky you have a daughter. A son would have been unlikely to survive this.'

It's science. Seriously.

And on top of this, as if we needed to be any weaker, boys have smaller pain tolerances.

Because labour, and childbirth? They fucking hurt, my friends. In fact, they hurt more than the human body should logically be able to withstand. Women literally undergo more pain than the human body should be able to take without giving up the ghost and flat up dying, whenever they decide to have a kid - assuming natural birth, that is.

And get this.

Periods?

That's the first stage of labour, induced to get rid of the uterine lining built up in case of ovum fertilisation... every fucking month.

And then you have society. Society is the main weakness we don't see more women doing proper weight training at the gym. It's the main reason we don't see more buff ladies - and also probably part of the reason men don't live as long, too, believe it or not.

Gender Roles, stereotyping, and inherent sexism, play a huge part in why 'girls are weaker' and 'boys are stronger', but also in why men are really weaker.

It's because we're told not to cry.

Men are told to bottle it all up and hold onto it and bury it deep inside them, because boys don't cry.

And then what?

Well, then they kill themselves.

Men have a 3 times higher suicide rate than women in most first world societies. In third world countries, it's even worse. Why?

Because of el machismo.

And this is why I'm not just a socialist, boyos, I'm a Feminist too. Call it what you like, honestly, I don't care. But I am a Feminist, and very, very proud of it.

Because this is a problem inherent with society - but in particular, the conservative, right wing elements of society, and I will give my life to whatever ways I can find to fight that.

For you, for me, and for all the people.

Thanks for having a read. 

~ Baxster Brand