Ha.
Ha, ha, fuckity ha.
Let's just run through what these Papers really are, shall we?
"The Panama Papers are an unprecedented leak of 11.5m files from the database of the world’s fourth biggest offshore law firm, Mossack Fonseca."
- The Guardian, 3rd of April, 2016. Arguably one of Britain's most reliable news sources, as well. I believe they've only been biased once or twice in all of history - and even then, it was for causes that honestly deserved it.
I do like the Guardian, I must admit.
But... what are these papers about?
"The documents show the myriad ways in which the rich can exploit secretive offshore tax regimes. Twelve national leaders are among 143 politicians, their families and close associates from around the world known to have been using offshore tax havens."
- ... also The Guardian, on the 3rd of April, 2016. Same article, in fact. But they're really saying what we already know. Do we get any specifics out of this brilliant British bastion of journalism?
Fuck yes we do.
"A $2bn trail leads all the way to Vladimir Putin.The Russian president’s best friend – a cellist called Sergei Roldugin – is at the centre of a scheme in which money from Russian state banks is hidden offshore. Some of it ends up in a ski resort where in 2013 Putin’s daughter Katerina got married."
I have only occasionally seen Putin in an even remotely favourable light. This man is a dictator in all but 'official' classification, and I wouldn't mind seeing him imprisoned for his crimes. Nor would you, I'd hazard a guess.
But who else?
"Among national leaders with offshore wealth are Nawaz Sharif, Pakistan’s prime minister; Ayad Allawi, ex-interim prime minister and former vice-president of Iraq; Petro Poroshenko, president of Ukraine; Alaa Mubarak, son of Egypt’s former president; and the prime minister of Iceland, Sigmundur Davíð Gunnlaugsson."
Wait, Iceland?
I... I'm really shocked. I really am, guys. I know Iceland aren't exactly socialists as we perceive them, and I know that they thrive at least partially through... well, almost indie isolationism, being the only ones who imprisoned the bankers and bailed the people out instead of the other way around, but...
I thought better of their leadership than this. A tiny part of my faith in the world just got broken, just a little bit. A hairline fracture in my belief in the integrity of our global people. Small, but there, and hard to heal.
Ok.
Next please.
"An offshore investment fund run by the father of British prime minister David Cameron avoided ever having to pay tax in Britain by hiring a small army of Bahamas residents to sign its paperwork. The fund has been registered with HM Revenue and Customs since its inception and has filed detailed tax returns every year."
This surprised me. This really did. A British newspaper, even starting to look like it's calling out the PM? I've only really seen The Independent - and I suppose The Morning Star, although we all expect them to do it - do this regularly. The Guardian does it sparingly, but by God they know when to.
The Guardian's article on this goes on to say that not all people who use offshore banking and/or storage are crooks.
And they're right.
There are legitimate reasons to do this. In some countries, it may well be unsafe to put everything in the locale, where it could get stolen, or where security measures are less adequate. I've been told that many companies in Russia do this, for example, and I can understand why. In fact, good on them. That's a logical step in the protection of their funds, and as long as they still pay taxes like a good bunch of lads, then I have no problem with it.
The Guardian also informs us, politely as always, the a good number of the people who do this are crooks. They used words like 'money laundering' and 'criminal' too. I'm so proud of them.
But then, and you won't (totally will) believe this...
A senior Tory MP claimed that it was wrong to look into this. Not because of privacy, but because it would damage the livelihoods of the tax avoiders themselves. He said that overseas services were 'entitled' to exploit us like this.
Entitled.
What the fuck, sir?
Sir, what the fuck?
I should mention that this is the same Tory who was against child abuse inquiries by the police.
Methinks there should be some inquiries into him. His name is Dominic Grieve, and I'd sure as hell like to give him some grief.
The Prime Minister couldn't keep his official trap shut either. When he was asked about all this, he had his spokesman say - because he couldn't look us in the eyes himself - that it was, I quote, '... a private matter.'
No. No it isn't. That's not how government works, that's not how taxes work. As the leader of the current ruling party, and therefore the leader of the British People's Government, you are accountable to the people you seem to consider yourself superior to, and this kind of behaviour is pissing everyone off, you pigfucking trotterlicker! Ooh, he makes my blood fucking boil!
But.
Something good has come of this.
Because people are finally starting to really wake up.
Icelandic government offices have been egged by protestors, in a passionate display of political, humanist, and populist fervour.
Bernie Sanders' support has been, is now, and is about to skyrocket.
The Left is back, baby. And stronger than ever.
Clements Attlee, Nye Bevan, and all the great heroes of our past?
I think they might even be proud of us.
Thanks for having a read, everyone. There ought to be another one later, about the lady being punished for abortion in Northern Ireland, and my disgust at the situation.
~ Baxster Brand
- PS: Here are the links to the newsposts.
http://www.theguardian.com/news/2016/apr/03/what-you-need-to-know-about-the-panama-papers
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/britain-should-not-crack-down-on-tax-havens-as-it-would-destroy-their-livelihoods-senior-tory-mp-a6969121.html
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