I am Terribly Sorry

Hey, everyone. I'm sorry. I've been unable to bring myself to write anything quality about anything happening currently, because of how unbelievably stupid this all is.

I really wanted to write an article - or a rant, I suppose, but in England it's the same thing - about the blatant, obvious, criminal voter fraud committed against Bernie Sanders and his supporters in the recent New York Democratic Primary.

I mean, 3.4 Million people essentially had their voting rights revoked by the DNC, as their registration was suspiciously found to be 'independent' rather than 'democrat' on the day of the primary. There were also twitter accounts telling everyone to go and vote wearing their official Bernie supporters' regalia and buttons and stuff, which, believe it or not, is actually illegal in America. Rarely enforced, but you can bet it was on the day.

And you know what? It sucks that I failed to write about it, because it would have made for a nice, long, entertaining article, full of my swearing and anger, and those of you who are politically minded would have found it very inflaming indeed - which is the idea - and those of you who aren't would at least have found my language entertaining.

After all, who else refers to Bill Clinton as a 'petulant, immature little goosetwat' in casual conversation?

Actually, if you know anyone who does, put me in touch with them. I'd love to buy them a drink.

And you know what else I want to post about? Bill Clinton putting his foot in his mouth again, and telling millennials they're all fucking idiots - thanks, you rapist fuck faced large chinned bastard.

I also wanna post about Chelsea Clinton, their daughter - and if she hadn't literally come out of Hillary I'd ask for a DNA test to check who the mother is, knowing that fuckass Bill and his 'tendencies' - accidentally addressing Bernie Sanders as 'President Sanders' in an interview with the press!

HOLY SHIT DO I WANT TO POST ABOUT THAT.

I can't believe she let that happen. See? It's on their minds too. They know this shit is the way to go. Only greed is stopping them from throwing down their arms, surrendering their forces, and joining us in the good fight- the GREAT fight.

Oh, by the way, they tried to bully Sanders about his position on healthcare of all things.

There's that video for you.

Now that's a man I'd take up a weapon for, if it came down to it.

Fortunately, that is unlikely. I doubt I'd last long against those trigger happy Republican wankers anyway, with their absurdly large firearms.

I'm actually kind of worried that this gun was ever allowed to exist. No joke.

Uh, let's see here, what else did I wanna post about?

I WANTED TO POST ABOUT TRUMP.

Trump recently - or now, not so recently - made a statement about abortion that should leave you literally throwing up your intestines, because it's just so...

So fascist.

I know we like to call him a fascist, and I know it's pretty accurate, but at this point, it should really be at it's scariest for us all.

I'll show you. Though, serious warning here, I know this is a sensitive subject, don't feel pressured to look. I honestly feel bad about putting this badly coloured in far right joke on this blog anyway.

He thinks women should be punished, but that the man responsible for the pregnancy should suffer nothing.

Which is odd, because men are generally involved in some way.

And what else did I want to post about?

Everything. Guys, I want to post about everything. It's not fair to say that this blog is 'exploding' or 'blowing up' but it is a lot more popular already than I ever thought it would be, and I don't think it's showing any reasonable signs of stopping soon, if you guys keep telling your political friends you find me funny.

So please do.

And I'm sorry about my inability to post about everything I want to. Truth is, I'm a pretty run-down guy, without nearly as much time on his hands as he'd like, and this is very much a spare time thing. I'll try to get it down, but I've also gotta say that how often I write is also pretty dependent on my ability to work myself up into a rage about it, enough to swear copiously and vow vengeance against people I don't know, understand, or really bear all that much personal ill will towards.

Except Trump.

And the Clintons - although Chelsea might not be a monster yet.

And-

Actually no there are plenty of people I have genuine ill will against, but not like murder. More like, I hope they drop a kitchen knife on their big toe.

And this whole 'working myself up' thing is actually pretty unhealthy anyway. I need to see if I can do this without anger.

Thank you, though. Please, please tell your friends. It lights up my day to know people read the shit I write.

Thank you, so very much.

~ Baxster Brand

Clinton, you little twat.

No, actually this time I'm not talking about Hillary Clinton. I'm talking about Billary Clinton. The fuckass who used to be President, but still occasionally acts like he is.

Or worse.

For example.

This.

Now before I go on a bit of a ramble about just how much I love The Young Turks - and I do, they're brilliant, and I wish the whole of Turkey was more like them - let's just remind ourselves that Hillary Clinton was calling black kids 'super predators' and telling the world that they should be 'brought to heel'. I mean, good ol' Cenk Uygur goes over this, and he's a smart guy.

"... it could have been white kids too... but the line 'super predators' was used to denigrate African American kids back in the day, so that's a historial certainty..." 

And he's right.

Bill Clinton's response?

"YOU ARE DEFENDING THE PEOPLE WHO KILL THE LIVES YOU SAY MATTER! TELL THE TRUTH!" - Bill Clinton, literally a few days ago, at an event to promote his wife's presidency campaign...

Whilst shaking and waggling his index finger at the Black Lives Matter protester.

Yeah. Condescending twat and I fucking hate this wanker.

Cenk goes on to talk about the prison industrial complex, and all sorts of things, but I'm going to split my path from his here, because I don't just wanna talk about Bill Clinton's fantastic racism and finger waggling.

I want to talk about the crowd's reaction.

Because they cheered him. And jeered the protester. Which isn't right, is it? I mean come on guys, they're not being violent, they're not being rude, they're interrupting something official to try and get a message out - and a message is exactly what they're getting out, because when they did this to Bernie Sanders, he gave them the podium. 

These protesters are giving us the best signals to follow regarding presidential aptitude, based solely on the reactions they get.

Let's run through it.

1. Bernie Sanders gives up his podium to them, and then praises their will to speak, and determination for their cause. He then goes on to speak about how it's so rare to see that, and how racism is a systemic, institutionalised thing, and how we get rid of it. 

2. The Clintons shout, get angry, and wiggle fingers at people. At least once, a protester is removed from the premises. They also take huge sums of money for giving talks. Not once do they seriously talk about racism or inequality until it's clear that it would be profitable for them.

3. Trump actively encourages violence against protesters. Enough said. He's no democrat and arguably I should have left him out here, but I felt it was nice for the contrast to Sanders. Also, these are the three biggest candidates, wouldn't you say? 

Come on.

We all know who the best guy for the job is.

Sanders.

Cool Old Guy all the way.

Thanks for having a read, all.

~ Baxster Brand